Changes

Large crowds are not for me. They make me feel awkward and uneasy. It's not that I don't love people. I do. I just prefer them in small doses. 

I like shopping early in the morning while others are sleeping. With a few exceptions, I will choose take-out over eat-in dining most of the time. I would rather watch a movie at home, instead of a theater any day of the week and parties are not for me. My favorite time of the day is dawn. A cup of coffee, a beautiful sunrise and a stray bird perched on our fence are my ideal way to begin the day. Can you tell I'm getting old?

I haven't always felt this way. In fact, I was once a bit of a party girl. Staying in on a weekend night was unheard of and dawn was bedtime instead of getting up time. I once danced the night away or spent hours playing cards with friends, listening to music and laughing.  These days, the only dancing I do is when I walk through the house and hear a catchy commercial jingle that sends me into a dancing frenzy leaving me breathless and looking for the nearest place to sit down or lie down or pass out.

The point is I've changed and in more ways than those I mentioned. I have developed a deep appreciation for people and things, that I rarely gave more than a passing thought to in my younger days. I feel genuine pain for those who suffer, probably too much. I've always loved my momma, but I don't think I really appreciated her or realized how important she is to me, until she started aging and began needing my help. I never realized how fortunate I was to be an American and to be a kid here during the sixties and seventies. I wish I could rewind, climb a tree, sit and feel the way I do now about what was happening then. Does that make sense?

If I've changed, maybe others transitioning into old age (my son's description of my age group) have as well. I hope others in my age group share my love for fond memories of the sixties, seventies, eighties and nineties.  I hope they are evolving into better people, as I know I am. I really want us all to enjoy life as it is now with facebook, twitter, cellphones with cameras to capture every moment, but most importantly, a new sense of gratitude for those around us and all the wonders life holds for us in the coming years. I plan to have a blast, just not in large crowds or late at night.

Suicide

Don't ask "Why Not".

 Ask "Why"?

I know everyone has someone that cares.

Don't hurt them by ending your life.

Fight for Life!

 

 

                                                                         Carry on!
                                             There will come a time, when all you want to do is live!
                                                                         I promise.

                                                                        Burn it!
                                                  Make a list of  what you have to live for.
                                                         Add something new each day.
                                            If you can't think of anything, try again tomorrow
                                                          and then again the next day
                                                                       and again
                                                                       and again
                                                                       and again
                                                                       and again
                                                
                                                    

 

Only if you let it.

DON'T!

SLOWER...Slower...slower

I'm not too fond of the world as it is these days.  I don't like all the hurry up and get here, so there will be time to go there, and do this or that. People are rushing everywhere I go, myself included. Just last night my husband and I rushed through a quick dinner at Burger King so we could rush to a ballgame to watch our favorite majorette perform during the halftime show. We walked over to the opposing teams side to get a better view of the band, which by the way is AWESOME!! We had to walk up and then back down steps guarded by a handrail to get to the opposing teams side. The only problem we had with that was on the way down when a man,( who was obviously on his way to give lifesaving medical help to some unfortunate person) almost knocked me down as he swooped in from underneath the guard rail  directly in my path. Thank goodness I was holding onto the guardrail or I would have been, the person in need of medical treatment. It was only moments later that I realized my mistake in assuming he had a justifiable excuse for his reckless hurried behavior, when I saw him standing around chatting it up with some folks. I was glad to see that he his reckless regard for the safety of others was for a good reason.

I do not like the uncaring, self absorbed people that we have become. I can remember when families were close and helped each other. Everyone knew when and what everyone else needed and there was almost always someone there to help out. Between my uncles and granddaddy, they could do anything from growing a garden to building a spaceship. Maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration but you get the jest of it. We always knew firsthand when someone was sick, getting married, coloring their hair, getting a haircut, having a baby or buying a car. These days, if you're not friends with your family on facebook or following them on twitter you don't know what they're up to. The excuse is always the same, "Too busy to call or too busy to stop by".  Facebook has replaced face2face. We find out what our family is up to the same time their 1,200 other friends do.

People will say I'm a sucker. But the only thing I hate worse than seeing someone standing in a public place with a sign asking for food or a little money is seeing all the people that drive past them as if they don't exist. Really? You can drive by in your air conditioned, late model care munching on a burger with a trunk full of groceries without helping? I realize that not all of the sign holder's are as needy as they appear and that there is a chance money goes for drugs or alcohol. What about buying a gift card  from a fast food place or grocery store to keep in your glovebox, just in case? Buy a bus ticket home for someone, get a hotel room for a night, do what you can. The worse thing you can do is nothing.

Have you noticed the way people use the internet to hurt others? All it takes is one bad person full of venom to ruin another person's reputation. We all know if we read it on the internet, it's true, right? WRONG!! There are some very cunning, intelligent people behind some of the anonymously authored blogs in cyberspace. Being well written, looking and sounding authentic means nothing when truth isn't factored in.
 
As Americans, we're all fond of holidays. Maybe we should consider a holiday devoted to slowing  or pace, family time and commitment, helping those in need and building people up instead of tearing them down. You know what? Scratch that, everyday should be about those things.

Your Place or Mine

Places. Belonging. Important. There should be a place in this world for everyone. It is such a sad world when people hurry around to get to places where they don't want to be or don't feel they belong and never feel important when they get there.

Some people want everything out of life and some people just want to get through life. Either way it should never be so bad that anyone chooses to leave because they can't find their place. It's too bad we're not given a kit at birth. A kit containing a plan to follow with instructions telling us where to go, what to do and most importantly, how to get there. There would be a fix-it plan for those who occasionally get off track. An instruction manual with do's and don'ts.

The kit could include instructions that some people would follow to the T. But there would be people like myself, who would constantly be wandering around lost. What's the answer for those of us who couldn't find our place if our life depended on it? A personal guide, a tracking device that beeps at every wrong turn, maybe one of those cattle prod things that produces a little shock for the errant individual. Hmmm, I do not like being shocked. It would take the more aggressive approach to keep me on track.

Someone blocks your path, refer to manual. Path blockers are the worst, some are lost like you and some are just downright mean. Lose your way in life? Don't waste time with someone who is standing there blocking your path. Think about it! If they're on your path in the first place, they're lost, too. Seriously, how can someone help you find your way, when they're wandering around on your path in the first place. They're just as lost as you are, unless they're there to purposely point you in the wrong direction. Yes, a section on path blockers would be needed in the instruction manual.

Just getting lost, your thing? The kit would include a little thing called compassion. Everyone should get some. Some people need more than others, but that's ok. As long as everyone gets enough of it to lend a helping hand, point others in the right direction, and just be there to offer support when someone else is so lost they are considering leaving this world by their own hand. Being lost gives us something to look forward to....being found.

Trust me when I say, I KNOW! I know what it's like not to belong. I know what it feels like to feel insignificant and unimportant. I know what it feels like to hurt alone and be ashamed. I know what it feels like to lose control and be afraid you can't get it back. I know all of these things and more. But, I also know there is a place for me in this world and there's one for you, too. I'll find mine and if you haven't found yours, you will. From time to time you may feel a little jolt of electricity. Don't worry about it, it's just a gentle prod nudging you in the right direction. Just change paths, follow your heart and remember that compassion thing needs to be used every day or you lose it. Find your place!

From 30 to 50....In No Time Flat

    This new generation of young adults just do not get it. Wait, did I just make reference to a younger generation? Hard to read what I just wrote. When I was the age of the younger generation I referred to, I thought I would be forever young. Bet some of these 30 somethinger's do not realize that they are driving a race car in the fast lane to 50 and they still have a lot to learn before they get there. Open your minds and your hearts boys and girls. You may be grown but you ain't all that...not yet! And even when you think you are....you're not.
   Getting back to the statement I made about young adults who don't get it. I'm referring to attitudes...I have seen some bad ones from some grown men and women. You can't tell some of them anything because (God Bless 'em) they know everything. I thought that was a teen affliction but apparently, it's carrying over into adulthood. Respect and honor for older family members and friends are lost, just as I am about to reach an age to collect them.
    I don't want to be too hard on the young folk because in all honesty, they may not be 100% at fault. They have so much information available to them that they cannot help but think they are smarter than they actually are. Everybody has a laptop, smart phone or tablet and the answer to any question is only a google away. Which is why I am taking time to compile a list for the young folk/old folk protocol. I thought a list (I love making lists) would be a helpful aid to others....not for myself or because I am in the process of transitioning into the old folks category.
    It's risky business, list making, there's always a chance I might get it wrong but I am determined to try. So here I go........


1. Never, ever, ever intentionally make momma, daddy, grandmother, granddaddy feel less than they are. In fact, do the opposite make them feel more than they are. Don't forget they are the reason YOU ARE.


2. Dear young folk, you may have read it, therefore you know it. Don't forget some of us older folks lived it, therefore we know it better.


3. You don't have to call us ma'am and sir. Just call us.


4. Don't waste precious time telling us what we did wrong. If we've lived past 50....chances are we know and we regret it. 


5. Don't act like our advise is wrong and unwanted even if it is. Keep in mind that one day you may be giving unsolicited bad advise with the best of intentions.


6. When you're driving remember you're sharing the roads with older folks. Don't blow your horn at slow drivers,  save your dirty looks for the mirror, and keep your hands and middle fingers on the wheel.


7. Sometimes older folks (ladies more than men) forget their age when getting dressed. Don't stare...remember in a few years this could be you or your spouse. Older folk always look nice (especially ladies).


8. You've heard that story before. So what! There may come a day when you would give anything to hear it one more time.


9. Respect us. We need that. We made it this far....that counts for something!


10. Love us. We don't have to be the most important thing in your life.... for you to be the most important thing in ours.

The Tree

I can still remember how it felt to climb the tree in granddaddy's yard. I was afraid to climb too high but I managed to grab hold of the lowest branch with both hands and march upwards on the tree trunk until I was able to pull myself into a sitting position on the branch. Sometimes if I was feeling particularly brave, I would go one branch higher to reach the best seat in the yard. It was a great place to spy on family, think about problems, or my favorite thing....pretend to be somebody else going somewhere else.


Granddaddy, my Uncle Frank and my Uncle Sonny were well known auto mechanics in the Centerhill area. All kinds of people with sick cars, trucks, an occasional tractor often showed up at granddaddy's. Either he or one of the uncles would work their magic and get them back on the road. People came and went and I watched while perched on a branch in a tree in granddaddy's yard.


I began my lifelong career as a drama queen right smack dab in the middle of a tree. It was my thinking place. I would think about whatever problem I was struggling with whether it was a bad grade, issues with friends from school or something more serious like a kitchen that was completely out of RC Cola's. I would reflect on days past, play different scenario's out in my head and think of snappy comebacks that I couldn't think of earlier in the day ( then I prayed for another opportunity to use them). I worried about things from minor to major. Everything was a groundbreaking, life changing, earth shaking, woe is me kind of big deal! I spent a lot of time thinking, and thinking, and thinking some more while sitting on that tree branch in the tree in granddaddy's yard.


Sometimes I would climb up, sit on the branch, lean back into the solid trunk of the tree and let my mind go where my body would never go. I was a dancer, a singer, an actress, a lawyer, a princess. I flew on airplanes, was filthy rich, ate at fancy restaurants, took vacations, had my own apartment all while sitting on a tree branch in granddaddy's yard!


 I still love people watching. I still over-think things and worry (yes! I know it's sinful but I was born that way! SERIOUSLY!). I have reigned in my imagination. It's been at least a month since I pretended to be a princess and these days I am pretty happy being at home. But, I would love to climb that tree one more time, lean back, look out over the property where I grew up and see my granddaddy one more time.

"FB" Spread the Love

Isn't facebook great? It's a place to reconnect with friends from childhood and  keep up with cousins who live out of state or right down the road, lol. I love knowing when someone needs a prayer or when someone has been blessed in a special way (babies, babies and more babies)! I enjoy looking at the pictures of the children of family and friends. I love hearing that someone is in remission from a deadly disease or that a friend who has been ill is on the mend. I grieve when I read of a friend's loss whether it be a parent or other family member. The naughty side of me will admit that I enjoy seeing pictures of former classmates and knowing that they have aged right along with me!

I even like the little sayings and  funny e-cards my friends post. I read one this morning that I really liked. I can't quote it verbatim but it said something along the lines of what a wonderful world it would be if we all spread love as easily as we spread hate. Those words got me to thinking and wondering why anyone would want to spread hate. I have posted a couple of times complaining about a bad shopping trip or maybe a not so great dining out experience. Looking back, I'm not sure it was a good idea to come home while angry or upset and post a negative review. We all have off days and I'm not talking about a day where you don't work. I'm talking about a day when things just go wrong and having another person tell everyone on fb probably just makes it worse. I wouldn't exactly call that kind of post "spreading hate" but I'm sure the businesses I posted about weren't exactly feeling the love.

People use fb for a lot of different reasons. There are the friends that promote their business, brag about their success, the proud parents (guilty), the proud grandparents (guiltier), the sports fanatic (RT), the puppy momma, the look-where-I'm-vacationing (never me), the spreading-the-gospel (a good thing if you live what you preach), the creeper, the happy all-the-time person, the I'm-deeply- depressed person, the minute-by-minute details of my life friend, the do-gooder who wants everyone to know every good thing they do (these people always inspire me to keep my good deeds to myself), the political people ( I usually stay away from those exchanges.... refer to my previous post comparing congress to McDonald's), the soapbox people (yep, me). I don't think you truly know someone until you're friends on fb.

There's another kind of person on fb, the harasser.  It's usually teens or immature young adults who indulge in this behavior but occasionally an older adult will show their true colors. I have an opinion, believe it or not! I think that grown up people should not get on fb and act like members of congress. Stop it with the hate spreading, bad mouthing and the meanness before you make a libelous statement about someone that could land you in a courtroom. Too bad fb doesn't have a momma for all of it's users. Every time a fb user posted something out of line, fb momma would knock on the front door of the offender and lay a green switch across their bottom. Since fb momma and her green switch are a little unrealistic, I have another solution to rid fb of the haters club. You wanna hear it? Unfriend them, don't give them a voice. Shut the haters up and spread the love!