Forty three years ago, give or take a few months, I reached a milestone in my life. I was going to my very first sleep-over. If you've ever been in that position and I know most of you have, I don't have to tell you how excited I was. I was to be an overnight guest in the home of Miss Martha Porter, along with a few other girls. I think I began packing my clothes in a brown paper bag days before the actual sleep over. I was taking a night gown, school clothes, tooth brush, socks and a bag of Butterfingers I had secretly snatched from the kitchen and saved for that special night.
My happiness about the sleep-over was overshadowed by a tiny bit of anxiety about being away from home. I had never spent the night anywhere except my Aunt Betty's or my grandparents and I didn't really know what to expect. I imagined all kinds of crazy things....what if Martha's mom was mean? What if her daddy was a monster? What if their food wasn't good? Food was a priority for me even way back then. What if I wet the bed and Martha told the entire second grade? What if they were Baptist? Everyone in our family was Church of Christ and until I started school I had never met a Baptist or a Methodist. I remember one of the girls in class telling me she was Presbyterian. She might as well have said, "I'm a Martian". The shock value would have been the same. I worried for days that she was going straight to hell just for saying the word Presbyterian, let alone claiming to be one. I was pretty sure Martha wasn't a Presbyterian because she seemed normal and looked pretty normal except for being really skinny. I pushed my worries aside and looked forward to the big night.
Finally the day of the sleep over arrived, I got on the school bus with my brown paper bag and headed out for a big adventure. Somehow I made it through the school day, but not without bragging about how I was spending the night with Martha. Everybody in the second grade knew my plans. After school a group of second grade girls showed up at Martha's where things were going just fine until parents started arriving to pick up their children, before I knew it I was alone with Martha and her kid sister, who was even skinnier than she was. It was at this point that I started rethinking the whole "spend the night" thing.
I hung in there until dark but as nice as Martha's momma was....she wasn't my momma. I began to cry like a big baby and before I knew it Martha's daddy, who by the way turned out not to be a monster, was on the phone with momma who was giving him directions to our house, where he dropped me off a few minutes later. My big adventure turned into a big disaster and the worst part of it was going to school the next day. Martha had arrived at school before me and she was good enough to tell everyone that her daddy had to take the crybaby home.
I was mortified about not staying the entire night and I was worried that Martha was not going to be my friend anymore. I had spent so much time planning, plotting and bragging about the sleep-over that it never crossed my mind that I wouldn't follow through. Over the years I've learned that no matter how well organized, planned and anticipated something is, there's always the possiblity that something will go wrong. And guess what? I still go to pieces when things don't work out, it's a character flaw that I accept. I am extremely grateful when things do work out as planned and even more grateful that bed wetting is no longer an issue for me.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Monday, January 9, 2012
Imagicnation
At the edge of Grandaddy Holden's yard there was a big tree surrounded by bushes that provided a secret shelter perfect for a young girl. On hands and knees, I would pull the bushes apart and crawl through to the area underneath the tree. It was a great place to give into the wild imagination I was blessed with. YES! Being able to pretend was a blessing for me, it gave me opportunities to experience things, meet people and go places that otherwise would have been out of reach for me.
In previous blogs I have expressed the deep affection I had for Donnie Osmond back in the day, but I have never told you about the time he came to visit. It's true, he came right up to the front door of my apartment and knocked on the door. We talked, I served a gourmet meal that I lovingly prepared for him, and he sang "Puppy Love" before we tearfully said our good byes. Ahhh....I have such fond memories of Donnie, but it just wasn't meant to be.
Once I realized things weren't going to work out between Donnie and me, I decided to leave town for awhile and that is how I ended up in a jungle living in a splendid tree house with Tarzan. Things were great until I realized I was afraid of heights, and didn't share Tarzan's love for wild animals. He was committed to swinging and it didn't appeal to me at all, so we ended our relationship and I returned to Alabama. The last time I heard from Tarzan, he was happily married to a chick named Jane.
I traveled quite a bit as a young girl visiting all the usual hot spots, Mayberry, Beverly Hills, and Petticoat Junction to name a few. I stayed in a hut on Gilligan's Island for some time, before being rescued by Little Joe Cartwright. I loved visiting the Ponderosa until the Cartwright brothers began fighting over me and Ben asked me to leave. That was kind of embarassing, but I understood that no one was allowed to come between the Cartwright brothers so I made a graceful exit.
To those of you who think I must have been a little "out there" as a kid, you could not be more wrong. It wasn't until I grew up and lost that magical thing called imagination that my sanity ever came close to being in jeopardy. What fun it would be to sit down to a gourmet meal of saltines and cold RC Cola with Donnie Osmond. We could talk about old times and I could introduce him to my husband....or not. How nice it would be to crawl under granddaddy's tree to visit those lovely places from my childhood when life gets a little too hard. Now that I think about it, maybe I'm overdue for a trip, after all I hear being sane isn't all it's cracked up to be.
In previous blogs I have expressed the deep affection I had for Donnie Osmond back in the day, but I have never told you about the time he came to visit. It's true, he came right up to the front door of my apartment and knocked on the door. We talked, I served a gourmet meal that I lovingly prepared for him, and he sang "Puppy Love" before we tearfully said our good byes. Ahhh....I have such fond memories of Donnie, but it just wasn't meant to be.
Once I realized things weren't going to work out between Donnie and me, I decided to leave town for awhile and that is how I ended up in a jungle living in a splendid tree house with Tarzan. Things were great until I realized I was afraid of heights, and didn't share Tarzan's love for wild animals. He was committed to swinging and it didn't appeal to me at all, so we ended our relationship and I returned to Alabama. The last time I heard from Tarzan, he was happily married to a chick named Jane.
I traveled quite a bit as a young girl visiting all the usual hot spots, Mayberry, Beverly Hills, and Petticoat Junction to name a few. I stayed in a hut on Gilligan's Island for some time, before being rescued by Little Joe Cartwright. I loved visiting the Ponderosa until the Cartwright brothers began fighting over me and Ben asked me to leave. That was kind of embarassing, but I understood that no one was allowed to come between the Cartwright brothers so I made a graceful exit.
To those of you who think I must have been a little "out there" as a kid, you could not be more wrong. It wasn't until I grew up and lost that magical thing called imagination that my sanity ever came close to being in jeopardy. What fun it would be to sit down to a gourmet meal of saltines and cold RC Cola with Donnie Osmond. We could talk about old times and I could introduce him to my husband....or not. How nice it would be to crawl under granddaddy's tree to visit those lovely places from my childhood when life gets a little too hard. Now that I think about it, maybe I'm overdue for a trip, after all I hear being sane isn't all it's cracked up to be.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
"LOOKING"
Seems like I spent most of my life looking for something. Sounds absurd when I write it down but it's the truth. Some of my earliest memories are of me doing things to get attention. I was always looking for attention. I guess I thought if someone was giving me attention it meant they cared about me. I was easy prey for someone with dishonorable intentions and I suffered for it in the years to come. Things so horrible that I still can't bring myself to share and may never be able to. Anyway ,that's not where I wanted this blog to go today so moving on.....
If I was sick I made it into a life threatening illness. I remember once in my early teens having a cold and passing it off as the flu. I went a few days without eating and living on grape juice and Pepsi even though I was starving. Of course, this illness coincided with my momma having a new boyfriend. She had just gotten rid of a stepfather I couldn't stand and I was afraid she was about to do the same thing all over again. Momma was pretty set in her ways and she was pretty good at seeing through fake bouts of flu. She didn't let my latest scheme get in the way of her life and she continued on with her new relationship. As for me, I guess the steady diet of grape juice and Pepsi worked a miracle because I recovered in time for the Friday night football game.
It took me a long time to realize that you cannot manipulate life or the people in your life. Oh, you can make good choices, get a good education, and live a good moral life that you can be proud of. Those are things you do to go along with whatever fate sends your way. You will never be able to make someone love you if they don't, you can never bring someone back from the dead, and the chances of you hitting the lottery are not much better than those of raising the dead.
I'd like to say that I'm no longer "looking" for something in life but that would be a complete fabrication. I can say I'm content with the loves of my life, my family, and that they love me unconditionally as I do them. I haven't been afflicted with a bad case of "fake flu" or any other attention seeking illness in a long time. I do still have days where I feel like I'm alone, unaccomplished, and sometimes I feel like an absolute failure. Those rare days are the one that motivate me the most to keep looking.
If I was sick I made it into a life threatening illness. I remember once in my early teens having a cold and passing it off as the flu. I went a few days without eating and living on grape juice and Pepsi even though I was starving. Of course, this illness coincided with my momma having a new boyfriend. She had just gotten rid of a stepfather I couldn't stand and I was afraid she was about to do the same thing all over again. Momma was pretty set in her ways and she was pretty good at seeing through fake bouts of flu. She didn't let my latest scheme get in the way of her life and she continued on with her new relationship. As for me, I guess the steady diet of grape juice and Pepsi worked a miracle because I recovered in time for the Friday night football game.
It took me a long time to realize that you cannot manipulate life or the people in your life. Oh, you can make good choices, get a good education, and live a good moral life that you can be proud of. Those are things you do to go along with whatever fate sends your way. You will never be able to make someone love you if they don't, you can never bring someone back from the dead, and the chances of you hitting the lottery are not much better than those of raising the dead.
I'd like to say that I'm no longer "looking" for something in life but that would be a complete fabrication. I can say I'm content with the loves of my life, my family, and that they love me unconditionally as I do them. I haven't been afflicted with a bad case of "fake flu" or any other attention seeking illness in a long time. I do still have days where I feel like I'm alone, unaccomplished, and sometimes I feel like an absolute failure. Those rare days are the one that motivate me the most to keep looking.
Monday, August 8, 2011
"Operation End Soaps"
I am not the least bit embarassed to admit that I have watched a soap opera or two in my time. I have learned so many things from soaps that I've been able to apply to my own life and it is my feeling that soaps are a necessary ingredient in a recipe for a happy life. It is a tragedy that, there is at this very moment, a campaign to bring an end to soap operas. I am not overreacting!! This is a serious problem with the potential to damage many lives in the future.
One of my grandkids once called me a drama queen. So what if I like a little excitement? A crisis is a crisis whether large or small, and there is nothing wrong with a little or a lot of carrying on. Not that I do...carry on, that is.
You can imagine the come apart I had when networks started cancelling soaps that had been on the air for longer than I've been on the earth. It was devastating when "The Guiding Light" was the first show to hit the chopping block. Reba was like a sister to me and I had been in love with Josh most of my adult life. I never could decide if I was happier when they were together or apart. And that Alan Spaulding, just when I decided he had sunk to the lowest low, he would up and do something so nice that I wondered how I could ever doubt him. Oh how I miss the Spauldings, Shanes, Lewises and the rest of the "Guiding Light" gang.
"As the World Turns" stopped turning a short time later, replaced with a talk show. A talk show with female hosts? REALLY? Who watches that kind of stuff? If I want to listen to women talk I just call Rachael or a friend, someone who's opinion actually matters to me. I really place no value on Hollywood's views on clothing, child rearing, marriage, politics, other celebrities, or anything else for that matter. I was much happier trying to figure out solutions for my tv family in Oakdale. I have aquired a fair amount of confidence in my problem solving skills which are still intact thanks to the "Young and Restless" and "The Bold and Beautiful".
I strongly suspect that network execs are sequestered in a fancy room somewhere at this very moment working out a deal to end all soaps and replace them with more asinine game shows and ridiculous talk shows. I think it's a conspiracy to force stay at home moms and dads into the workplace or the marketplace to avoid another boring day at home. It makes perfect sense, working, shopping, stimulating the economy and paying taxes. I wouldn't be suprised to learn that the government has it's hand in "Operation End Soaps". I didn't spend 10 years learning how to be a detective with Tad Martin and Paul Williams for nothing.
One of my grandkids once called me a drama queen. So what if I like a little excitement? A crisis is a crisis whether large or small, and there is nothing wrong with a little or a lot of carrying on. Not that I do...carry on, that is.
You can imagine the come apart I had when networks started cancelling soaps that had been on the air for longer than I've been on the earth. It was devastating when "The Guiding Light" was the first show to hit the chopping block. Reba was like a sister to me and I had been in love with Josh most of my adult life. I never could decide if I was happier when they were together or apart. And that Alan Spaulding, just when I decided he had sunk to the lowest low, he would up and do something so nice that I wondered how I could ever doubt him. Oh how I miss the Spauldings, Shanes, Lewises and the rest of the "Guiding Light" gang.
"As the World Turns" stopped turning a short time later, replaced with a talk show. A talk show with female hosts? REALLY? Who watches that kind of stuff? If I want to listen to women talk I just call Rachael or a friend, someone who's opinion actually matters to me. I really place no value on Hollywood's views on clothing, child rearing, marriage, politics, other celebrities, or anything else for that matter. I was much happier trying to figure out solutions for my tv family in Oakdale. I have aquired a fair amount of confidence in my problem solving skills which are still intact thanks to the "Young and Restless" and "The Bold and Beautiful".
I strongly suspect that network execs are sequestered in a fancy room somewhere at this very moment working out a deal to end all soaps and replace them with more asinine game shows and ridiculous talk shows. I think it's a conspiracy to force stay at home moms and dads into the workplace or the marketplace to avoid another boring day at home. It makes perfect sense, working, shopping, stimulating the economy and paying taxes. I wouldn't be suprised to learn that the government has it's hand in "Operation End Soaps". I didn't spend 10 years learning how to be a detective with Tad Martin and Paul Williams for nothing.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Gone Country or Country Gone?
Who was the genius that came up with the idea of Ludicras and Jason Aldean rapping on a country music awards show? Point him out to me.....got a little something for him/her. It"s bad enough that I endure Christina and her outrageous behavior on The Voice in order to watch team Blake but THIS??? Somebody get me my pills because this country girl is having a spell (you know a hissy fit).
Justin, I got a news flash for you....that should not be you accepting a country music award. I don't mean to be ugly, Justin's okay, but let's face it, the boy ain't country.
I am a proud Sheryl Crow fan.I bought into the whole 40 is the new 20's thing. That philosophy worked till the hot flashes reminded me that thinking you're in your 20's doesn't make it true. I wanna soak up the sun as much as the next girl, on a beach, in a swimsuit, but on stage at an awards show I don't wanna see your drawers cause your skirts too short. Sheryl, you've got a nice pair of legs, they would've looked just as nice if you had about 10 more inches of skirt.
It was nice to see Wynonna and Shania Twain make an appearance. Wynonna has still got it! I caught Shania on Oprah the other day and was as impressed with her sincerity as I have been with her vocal talent. Do you believe she wrote and sent an email to the "other woman" begging her not to take her man (sounds like a country song)? She shared those details to remind people that we all have our pathetic moments. I just wanted to hug her when she slipped and fell on the show tonight. Don't be embarrassed, Shania. Sheryl wasn't and everybody saw her drawers.
I don't know what's going on in Nashville but I sure would like to. I can't figure out if everybody has gone country or if country's just gone. Is there a fabric shortage in Nashville that we haven't heard about? Is there a new secret club in town that requires members to wear their caps backwards? If y'all find out give me a call....the number is BR549. You're going to have to be over 40 to understand that one!
Justin, I got a news flash for you....that should not be you accepting a country music award. I don't mean to be ugly, Justin's okay, but let's face it, the boy ain't country.
I am a proud Sheryl Crow fan.I bought into the whole 40 is the new 20's thing. That philosophy worked till the hot flashes reminded me that thinking you're in your 20's doesn't make it true. I wanna soak up the sun as much as the next girl, on a beach, in a swimsuit, but on stage at an awards show I don't wanna see your drawers cause your skirts too short. Sheryl, you've got a nice pair of legs, they would've looked just as nice if you had about 10 more inches of skirt.
It was nice to see Wynonna and Shania Twain make an appearance. Wynonna has still got it! I caught Shania on Oprah the other day and was as impressed with her sincerity as I have been with her vocal talent. Do you believe she wrote and sent an email to the "other woman" begging her not to take her man (sounds like a country song)? She shared those details to remind people that we all have our pathetic moments. I just wanted to hug her when she slipped and fell on the show tonight. Don't be embarrassed, Shania. Sheryl wasn't and everybody saw her drawers.
I don't know what's going on in Nashville but I sure would like to. I can't figure out if everybody has gone country or if country's just gone. Is there a fabric shortage in Nashville that we haven't heard about? Is there a new secret club in town that requires members to wear their caps backwards? If y'all find out give me a call....the number is BR549. You're going to have to be over 40 to understand that one!
Monday, June 6, 2011
Happy Endings and Happier Beginnings
I just finished the McKettrick's trilogy by Linda Lael Miller. All three of which I thoroughly enjoyed. I'm all about a good love story and when it's comes in the form of not one, not two, but three hunks who just happen to be wealthy cattle ranchers...it's all good.
Books have been my best friend for as long as I can remember. Want to know a secret? I rarely read books that are non fiction. Okay, I only read romance books or chick lit. I don't like books that are good for me in an intellectual...YAWN.. way. I read purely for entertainment. If I claim to have read a book that is educational, chances are I got the title from a of heroine in the latest trashy romance novel I'm enjoying. I love a smart heroine and sometimes I borrow things from one. Truth is I ain't all that bright but I like for people to think I am.
It's too bad that some romantic fiction books get a bum rap or that women and men who read them are embarrassed to admit it. What's wrong with a good old fashioned love story with a happy ending? Throw in a baby, a beach, a big bank account and I'm buying it and I don't care who knows it.
Too bad life isn't like a good book. We would never have to worry or be afraid of turning the page because each chapter brings us closer to the inevitable happy ending. Everybody knows a happy ending in a good book is really just the beginning. Take the McKettrick brothers....they're alive and well on the McKettrick ranch that LL Miller created for them and for me. Here's to happy endings and even happier beginnings!
Books have been my best friend for as long as I can remember. Want to know a secret? I rarely read books that are non fiction. Okay, I only read romance books or chick lit. I don't like books that are good for me in an intellectual...YAWN.. way. I read purely for entertainment. If I claim to have read a book that is educational, chances are I got the title from a of heroine in the latest trashy romance novel I'm enjoying. I love a smart heroine and sometimes I borrow things from one. Truth is I ain't all that bright but I like for people to think I am.
It's too bad that some romantic fiction books get a bum rap or that women and men who read them are embarrassed to admit it. What's wrong with a good old fashioned love story with a happy ending? Throw in a baby, a beach, a big bank account and I'm buying it and I don't care who knows it.
Too bad life isn't like a good book. We would never have to worry or be afraid of turning the page because each chapter brings us closer to the inevitable happy ending. Everybody knows a happy ending in a good book is really just the beginning. Take the McKettrick brothers....they're alive and well on the McKettrick ranch that LL Miller created for them and for me. Here's to happy endings and even happier beginnings!
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Betty
I always had a special connection to my Aunt Betty when I was a young girl. She was the one person I could turn to when circumstances became too much for me to handle. I loved her dearly and I still do. I spent as many nights as momma would allow at my Aunt Betty's house. Grandmother used to shake her head and say, "that girl loves Betty more than her own momma". I guess that was close to being true. I loved them both but it was easier to show it to Betty than to momma.
When I was young I was convinced that Betty loved me more than anybody in the whole world including her own children. I can see now that while that may not have been exactly the way it was..... it was exactly the way she made me feel. What's wrong with that? Not a dern thing!
I looked forward to going to church with Betty and my cousins on Wednesday nights because afterwards she would whip up some dip and open a bag of chips while we watched "The Twilight Zone". It was nights like those that kept me going during some difficult times. Momma had remarried and I wasn't thrilled about it. In fact, the only good thing to come from it was my baby brothers and a cool older stepsister. As much as I loved them I disliked my stepfather.
We used to have some pretty good fights at our house in those days. We were the polar opposite of the Brady Bunch more like the crabby bunch. It was after one of those fights that I decided to run away. I packed my clothes and headed across the street to my Aunt Betty's house where I informed her of my plan to live with her. I was busy settling into my new home when momma arrived with a green switch in hand. She whipped me all the way home while making me carry my clothes. Some of the family still talks about Louise whipping Sandra all the way up the hill and across the yard. I know I never forgot it. The whipping hurt like the dickens but not nearly as much as seeing momma cry about what I'd done. I went back home and prayed for a divorce.
God must have been listening because a few years later the divorce came along with some other unwelcome changes. Betty remarried and moved away. I missed her but by that time I had come to realize that I wasn't the center of her universe and that was okay. I take comfort in knowing that I was then and still am her very favorite niece. Oops! Sorry, Kissy, Becky, Wendy, Stacey, and Jessica but y'all had to know I'm the favorite.
When I was young I was convinced that Betty loved me more than anybody in the whole world including her own children. I can see now that while that may not have been exactly the way it was..... it was exactly the way she made me feel. What's wrong with that? Not a dern thing!
I looked forward to going to church with Betty and my cousins on Wednesday nights because afterwards she would whip up some dip and open a bag of chips while we watched "The Twilight Zone". It was nights like those that kept me going during some difficult times. Momma had remarried and I wasn't thrilled about it. In fact, the only good thing to come from it was my baby brothers and a cool older stepsister. As much as I loved them I disliked my stepfather.
We used to have some pretty good fights at our house in those days. We were the polar opposite of the Brady Bunch more like the crabby bunch. It was after one of those fights that I decided to run away. I packed my clothes and headed across the street to my Aunt Betty's house where I informed her of my plan to live with her. I was busy settling into my new home when momma arrived with a green switch in hand. She whipped me all the way home while making me carry my clothes. Some of the family still talks about Louise whipping Sandra all the way up the hill and across the yard. I know I never forgot it. The whipping hurt like the dickens but not nearly as much as seeing momma cry about what I'd done. I went back home and prayed for a divorce.
God must have been listening because a few years later the divorce came along with some other unwelcome changes. Betty remarried and moved away. I missed her but by that time I had come to realize that I wasn't the center of her universe and that was okay. I take comfort in knowing that I was then and still am her very favorite niece. Oops! Sorry, Kissy, Becky, Wendy, Stacey, and Jessica but y'all had to know I'm the favorite.
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