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Thursday, January 20, 2011

Keep on Breathing

"But life's not the breath you take, the breathing in and out
That gets you through the day, ain't what it's all about
You just might miss the point trying to win the race
Life's not the breaths you take but the moments that take your breath away"


I was driving along this morning as this song was playing on the radio. I do love the way George Strait tells it like it is in this beautiful song. It made me think about my own "take your breath away" moments. I won't bore you with a list of things that my kids have done or been involved in that resulted in a "take my breath away moment. They're my kids, my moments and I don't think anyone is likely to appreciate them as much as I do. I have had a few breathless moments that didn't involve my kids that I want to share with you.


Several years ago my cousin, Kissy, had just been informed by her son, Damien's, doctor that his cancer had returned and that she only had a short time left with him. I cannot imagine the misery that she felt knowing each day was bringing him one day closer to death. I was at work one day shortly before Damien passed away when Kissy called. I'll never forget the anguish and desperation in her voice as she talked. It literally took my breath away when she said to me, "I don't know what I'll do when I can't be a momma anymore". I tried to find the words to comfort her but I could barely breath and those kind of words just don't exist.

A few weeks after Damien died Kissy and I were talking and I asked her if Damien had known that he was dying. She said they talked about paradise and what a wonderful place it would be. It took my breath away when she described a dream she had a few days after Damien passed away where he came to her and said, "It's just like you said it would be, momma". I know he was talking about paradise and he called her momma. Damien's way of letting her know he was in a good place and that even though he was gone, she would always be a momma.

Life is full of breathless moments.
Some moments are full of indescribable joy. You want to hold on for dear life and savour every second. These are the moments that will make you smile when you think of them years later.
Some moments are full of indescribable pain. You want to let go of the unbearable pain but at the same time you have an uncontrollable need to hang on because you know if you made it through the pain you can make it through anything. These are the moments that give you strength when you think of them years later. Both are moments that take your breath away.