It's been a difficult month filled with goodbyes. Goodbyes to friends, one passed away suddenly and one who needed to be let go. Goodbye to a Thanksgiving traditions and goodbye to a big Christmas tree. Changes have come my way and along with it the painful realization that I cannot control how other people think and act. Gasp!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, I did think I had some amount of control over the people in my life.
It's been hard to accept that a long time friendship has ended, even though I think I knew it would eventually happen. I made friends with a person who was so stinking much fun to be around and talk to. We spent hours on the phone giggling like school girls and I needed that kind of outlet. I was working long hours, had just went through a difficult time with some family members and I needed someone in my life to laugh with, confide in and just be plain silly with. Unfortunately, we don't share the same values and she has a lifestyle so different from mine that to continue our friendship was impossible. I still care for her and wish her the very best, but good bye is the best thing for me and my family.
Thanksgiving table was missing some of the most important people in my life. I was heartbroken but I understand as my children's families grow and change, they are going to want to do their own thing. I'm just going to have to learn to accept that what's best for me, may not be what's best for everyone else. So fly away my little turkeys (thought turkeys would be appropriate instead of birds....you know Thanksgiving and all that) and enjoy your own lives. I don't want to hold anyone back or cause anyone to feel bad. Goodbye, Thanksgiving tradition, I may not like it but I've disliked other things and survived. I expect to recover from this terrible turkey day and go on to celebrate many more but without expectations from anyone.
Ahhh, next the Christmas tree.....yes, it was so hard not fill half my tiny living room with a Christmas tree, as I have in years past. I've finally come to terms with the fact that bigger is not better if you can't walk in the room without bumping into the tree or a piece of furniture, besides I'm growing quite fond of the 6 foot pencil tree. I am .....I REALLY AM! On the upside my husband loves it. So goodbye big Christmas tree.....I think we may meet again one merry Christmas season.
And most important of all, goodbye Gina. May you find the peace and happiness you deserve, in a house filled with joy, with a father who loves us all.
Goodbyes are not always easy but they are a necessary part of life. Get over it, get on with it! Don't close the book, begin a new chapter with a loud, welcoming, "HELLLLOOOO".
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