Christmas times a coming! I would give anything for one more Christmas with grandmother. Oh, how I loved that woman. There are times when I close my eyes as tight as I possibly can and try very hard to remember those happy times, when we would all gather at grandmother and granddaddy's for that magical day. The table and counter tops running over with food, presents were piled high under grandmother's tree, cousins running in all directions bragging about their big scores from Santa earlier that morning. Everything needed for a happy holiday could be found at grandmothers.
It was during one of those Christmas seasons, that grandmother decided she needed a fireplace to create a more festive environment. Grandmother was strong capable woman but, I doubt that she could have constructed a fireplace in the middle of the living room and I'm pretty sure granddaddy was quite happy with the furnace that provided heat for their home. That was the year we were all introduced to fireplace in a box, constructed of cardboard and easy to assemble. The brick colored cardboard pieces came together to form the perfect fireplace for those not blessed with the real thing. An added bonus was the box it came in, which created an imaginary car just the right size for grandmother and my cousin, Phillip, who was the baby of the family. We all laughed as she sat in the middle of the living room floor in a box, with a baby in her lap, pretending to drive away. She was not at all upset that the box had upstaged her "new" fireplace, in fact she was delighted with the attention and laughter she created with her cardboard car.
I can see now that all grandmother really wanted was for her family to be happy and she was blessed with the gift of knowing how to make that happen. Our entire family was blessed to have had her, even if she was only ours for a short time. Over the years the family has grown bigger and apart, we don't celebrate Christmas as a family but we still love each other, respect each other and wish each other the very best, not just during the holidays but year round. Grandmother gave us a beautiful foundation and each of us has either built our own cardboard fireplace for our families to gather around or a sturdy cardboard box card to race around the living room. Either way, I think grandmother is looking down from Heaven with a smile on her face and love in her heart.
Happy holidays to the entire Holden clan! Aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews....you are all gathered round the Christmas tree in my heart!
Friday, November 16, 2012
Monday, August 13, 2012
Granddaddy's and Paw paw's
We didn't go to the beach or the mountains for summer vacation when I was growing up. Come to think of it, I don't think I spent the night in a hotel before I got married and then it was a one night stay at Joe Wheeler Lodge. My summer get-aways included spending the night with cousins or going to Paw paw Cox's Luxury Summer Resort for a few days.
Maw maw and paw paw lived in a tiny house out in the country where TV reception was minimal and bed time was before the sun set. There was no McDonald's with a play place just around the corner and no video games to keep us indoors for hours at a time. Paw paw didn't take us places or buy us things to keep boredom at bay, what he did give us was his time.
We took turns trying to beat paw paw at checkers and played for hours in the big yard. We fished, hunted rocks, climbed hills that seemed like mountains, picked tomatoes and cucumbers from the garden and spent hours swinging on the front porch swing. Every once in awhile we would venture out in pawpaw's old car to visit family or neighbors. Paw paw would drive with maw maw in the front seat beside him, while my brother and I rode in the backseat happily eating orange slice candy or circus peanuts.
If I had only known back then that my own two children were destined to grow up without a grandfather, I would have written down every single thing about both of my grandfathers to share with them. It is impossible for me to imagine a childhood without Paw paw Cox and Granddaddy Holden, and I hate that my kids will never have memories of going to pawpaw's house or riding on granddaddy's tractor. It's been said "you don't miss what you never had", but I believe there are a few exclusions to that old saying which includes granddaddy's and pawpaw's.
Summer is coming to an end and I am longing for a trip to the beach but I would gladly trade a hundred beach vacations for one week at Paw paw Cox's Luxury Summer Resort. A place where happiness comes from who you spend your time with and not where you spend your time at.
Maw maw and paw paw lived in a tiny house out in the country where TV reception was minimal and bed time was before the sun set. There was no McDonald's with a play place just around the corner and no video games to keep us indoors for hours at a time. Paw paw didn't take us places or buy us things to keep boredom at bay, what he did give us was his time.
We took turns trying to beat paw paw at checkers and played for hours in the big yard. We fished, hunted rocks, climbed hills that seemed like mountains, picked tomatoes and cucumbers from the garden and spent hours swinging on the front porch swing. Every once in awhile we would venture out in pawpaw's old car to visit family or neighbors. Paw paw would drive with maw maw in the front seat beside him, while my brother and I rode in the backseat happily eating orange slice candy or circus peanuts.
If I had only known back then that my own two children were destined to grow up without a grandfather, I would have written down every single thing about both of my grandfathers to share with them. It is impossible for me to imagine a childhood without Paw paw Cox and Granddaddy Holden, and I hate that my kids will never have memories of going to pawpaw's house or riding on granddaddy's tractor. It's been said "you don't miss what you never had", but I believe there are a few exclusions to that old saying which includes granddaddy's and pawpaw's.
Summer is coming to an end and I am longing for a trip to the beach but I would gladly trade a hundred beach vacations for one week at Paw paw Cox's Luxury Summer Resort. A place where happiness comes from who you spend your time with and not where you spend your time at.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Turkey, Chicken Nuggets and Marshmallows
An unsuspecting preschooler headed to school with her lunchbox full of goodies packed by mom, fully expecting to enjoy it later at the appropriate time. I'm wondering if she would have insisted on skipping lunch that day or even preschool altogether, if she had known the attention her lunch menu would garner.
A teacher made the decision to confiscate the child's turkey and cheese sandwich and replace it with a more nutritionally sound meal of chicken nuggetts prepared by the school. Personally, I have nothing against chicken nuggets but I think the person eating the meal or in this case, the mom preparing the meal should determine the type of poultry her child consumes.
When did teachers start inspecting the contents of lunch boxes? Who determined that chicken nuggets was the healthier choice over turkey? Have Americans become too ignorant to prepare meals for their offspring? Will someone be coming to our homes to throw out unnacceptable breakfast choices and offer healthier alternatives? Will parents be subject to legal action if we do not provide meals that are approved by our children's teachers? Stay tuned as the media frenzy surrounding this story searches for the answers to these and other life or death questions this story has produced.
Not making national headlines, but an equally important story has surfaced on a local level right here in our own quiet little community of Killen, Alabama. A source who wishes to remain anonymous, revealed to me today that Brooks High School has announced that any student caught with marshmallows in their possession will be suspended from school. From what I understand a terrible battle was fought in the science and math building with marshmallows being the weapon of choice. Thankfully no injuries have been reported but that does not negate the seriousness of this incident. We all know how dangerous marshmallows can be, while researching the story I read on facebook about a marshmallow gun that is especially effective if you use the old lick'em and stick'em move, a strategy obviously developed by a seasoned soldier familiar with marshmallow weaponry.
To this I would say, thank you to the dictators who are making the important decisions that we as parents do not have the good sense to make. Take the turkey off the table, the marshmallows out of the schools and we will produce fine young Americans who realize that mom and dad are not capable of making sound decisions without outside interference or...... we could just stay out of lunch boxes that don't belong to us and tell the kids not to play with marshmallows at school.
A teacher made the decision to confiscate the child's turkey and cheese sandwich and replace it with a more nutritionally sound meal of chicken nuggetts prepared by the school. Personally, I have nothing against chicken nuggets but I think the person eating the meal or in this case, the mom preparing the meal should determine the type of poultry her child consumes.
When did teachers start inspecting the contents of lunch boxes? Who determined that chicken nuggets was the healthier choice over turkey? Have Americans become too ignorant to prepare meals for their offspring? Will someone be coming to our homes to throw out unnacceptable breakfast choices and offer healthier alternatives? Will parents be subject to legal action if we do not provide meals that are approved by our children's teachers? Stay tuned as the media frenzy surrounding this story searches for the answers to these and other life or death questions this story has produced.
Not making national headlines, but an equally important story has surfaced on a local level right here in our own quiet little community of Killen, Alabama. A source who wishes to remain anonymous, revealed to me today that Brooks High School has announced that any student caught with marshmallows in their possession will be suspended from school. From what I understand a terrible battle was fought in the science and math building with marshmallows being the weapon of choice. Thankfully no injuries have been reported but that does not negate the seriousness of this incident. We all know how dangerous marshmallows can be, while researching the story I read on facebook about a marshmallow gun that is especially effective if you use the old lick'em and stick'em move, a strategy obviously developed by a seasoned soldier familiar with marshmallow weaponry.
To this I would say, thank you to the dictators who are making the important decisions that we as parents do not have the good sense to make. Take the turkey off the table, the marshmallows out of the schools and we will produce fine young Americans who realize that mom and dad are not capable of making sound decisions without outside interference or...... we could just stay out of lunch boxes that don't belong to us and tell the kids not to play with marshmallows at school.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Sleep-Over at Miss Martha's
Forty three years ago, give or take a few months, I reached a milestone in my life. I was going to my very first sleep-over. If you've ever been in that position and I know most of you have, I don't have to tell you how excited I was. I was to be an overnight guest in the home of Miss Martha Porter, along with a few other girls. I think I began packing my clothes in a brown paper bag days before the actual sleep over. I was taking a night gown, school clothes, tooth brush, socks and a bag of Butterfingers I had secretly snatched from the kitchen and saved for that special night.
My happiness about the sleep-over was overshadowed by a tiny bit of anxiety about being away from home. I had never spent the night anywhere except my Aunt Betty's or my grandparents and I didn't really know what to expect. I imagined all kinds of crazy things....what if Martha's mom was mean? What if her daddy was a monster? What if their food wasn't good? Food was a priority for me even way back then. What if I wet the bed and Martha told the entire second grade? What if they were Baptist? Everyone in our family was Church of Christ and until I started school I had never met a Baptist or a Methodist. I remember one of the girls in class telling me she was Presbyterian. She might as well have said, "I'm a Martian". The shock value would have been the same. I worried for days that she was going straight to hell just for saying the word Presbyterian, let alone claiming to be one. I was pretty sure Martha wasn't a Presbyterian because she seemed normal and looked pretty normal except for being really skinny. I pushed my worries aside and looked forward to the big night.
Finally the day of the sleep over arrived, I got on the school bus with my brown paper bag and headed out for a big adventure. Somehow I made it through the school day, but not without bragging about how I was spending the night with Martha. Everybody in the second grade knew my plans. After school a group of second grade girls showed up at Martha's where things were going just fine until parents started arriving to pick up their children, before I knew it I was alone with Martha and her kid sister, who was even skinnier than she was. It was at this point that I started rethinking the whole "spend the night" thing.
I hung in there until dark but as nice as Martha's momma was....she wasn't my momma. I began to cry like a big baby and before I knew it Martha's daddy, who by the way turned out not to be a monster, was on the phone with momma who was giving him directions to our house, where he dropped me off a few minutes later. My big adventure turned into a big disaster and the worst part of it was going to school the next day. Martha had arrived at school before me and she was good enough to tell everyone that her daddy had to take the crybaby home.
I was mortified about not staying the entire night and I was worried that Martha was not going to be my friend anymore. I had spent so much time planning, plotting and bragging about the sleep-over that it never crossed my mind that I wouldn't follow through. Over the years I've learned that no matter how well organized, planned and anticipated something is, there's always the possiblity that something will go wrong. And guess what? I still go to pieces when things don't work out, it's a character flaw that I accept. I am extremely grateful when things do work out as planned and even more grateful that bed wetting is no longer an issue for me.
My happiness about the sleep-over was overshadowed by a tiny bit of anxiety about being away from home. I had never spent the night anywhere except my Aunt Betty's or my grandparents and I didn't really know what to expect. I imagined all kinds of crazy things....what if Martha's mom was mean? What if her daddy was a monster? What if their food wasn't good? Food was a priority for me even way back then. What if I wet the bed and Martha told the entire second grade? What if they were Baptist? Everyone in our family was Church of Christ and until I started school I had never met a Baptist or a Methodist. I remember one of the girls in class telling me she was Presbyterian. She might as well have said, "I'm a Martian". The shock value would have been the same. I worried for days that she was going straight to hell just for saying the word Presbyterian, let alone claiming to be one. I was pretty sure Martha wasn't a Presbyterian because she seemed normal and looked pretty normal except for being really skinny. I pushed my worries aside and looked forward to the big night.
Finally the day of the sleep over arrived, I got on the school bus with my brown paper bag and headed out for a big adventure. Somehow I made it through the school day, but not without bragging about how I was spending the night with Martha. Everybody in the second grade knew my plans. After school a group of second grade girls showed up at Martha's where things were going just fine until parents started arriving to pick up their children, before I knew it I was alone with Martha and her kid sister, who was even skinnier than she was. It was at this point that I started rethinking the whole "spend the night" thing.
I hung in there until dark but as nice as Martha's momma was....she wasn't my momma. I began to cry like a big baby and before I knew it Martha's daddy, who by the way turned out not to be a monster, was on the phone with momma who was giving him directions to our house, where he dropped me off a few minutes later. My big adventure turned into a big disaster and the worst part of it was going to school the next day. Martha had arrived at school before me and she was good enough to tell everyone that her daddy had to take the crybaby home.
I was mortified about not staying the entire night and I was worried that Martha was not going to be my friend anymore. I had spent so much time planning, plotting and bragging about the sleep-over that it never crossed my mind that I wouldn't follow through. Over the years I've learned that no matter how well organized, planned and anticipated something is, there's always the possiblity that something will go wrong. And guess what? I still go to pieces when things don't work out, it's a character flaw that I accept. I am extremely grateful when things do work out as planned and even more grateful that bed wetting is no longer an issue for me.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Imagicnation
At the edge of Grandaddy Holden's yard there was a big tree surrounded by bushes that provided a secret shelter perfect for a young girl. On hands and knees, I would pull the bushes apart and crawl through to the area underneath the tree. It was a great place to give into the wild imagination I was blessed with. YES! Being able to pretend was a blessing for me, it gave me opportunities to experience things, meet people and go places that otherwise would have been out of reach for me.
In previous blogs I have expressed the deep affection I had for Donnie Osmond back in the day, but I have never told you about the time he came to visit. It's true, he came right up to the front door of my apartment and knocked on the door. We talked, I served a gourmet meal that I lovingly prepared for him, and he sang "Puppy Love" before we tearfully said our good byes. Ahhh....I have such fond memories of Donnie, but it just wasn't meant to be.
Once I realized things weren't going to work out between Donnie and me, I decided to leave town for awhile and that is how I ended up in a jungle living in a splendid tree house with Tarzan. Things were great until I realized I was afraid of heights, and didn't share Tarzan's love for wild animals. He was committed to swinging and it didn't appeal to me at all, so we ended our relationship and I returned to Alabama. The last time I heard from Tarzan, he was happily married to a chick named Jane.
I traveled quite a bit as a young girl visiting all the usual hot spots, Mayberry, Beverly Hills, and Petticoat Junction to name a few. I stayed in a hut on Gilligan's Island for some time, before being rescued by Little Joe Cartwright. I loved visiting the Ponderosa until the Cartwright brothers began fighting over me and Ben asked me to leave. That was kind of embarassing, but I understood that no one was allowed to come between the Cartwright brothers so I made a graceful exit.
To those of you who think I must have been a little "out there" as a kid, you could not be more wrong. It wasn't until I grew up and lost that magical thing called imagination that my sanity ever came close to being in jeopardy. What fun it would be to sit down to a gourmet meal of saltines and cold RC Cola with Donnie Osmond. We could talk about old times and I could introduce him to my husband....or not. How nice it would be to crawl under granddaddy's tree to visit those lovely places from my childhood when life gets a little too hard. Now that I think about it, maybe I'm overdue for a trip, after all I hear being sane isn't all it's cracked up to be.
In previous blogs I have expressed the deep affection I had for Donnie Osmond back in the day, but I have never told you about the time he came to visit. It's true, he came right up to the front door of my apartment and knocked on the door. We talked, I served a gourmet meal that I lovingly prepared for him, and he sang "Puppy Love" before we tearfully said our good byes. Ahhh....I have such fond memories of Donnie, but it just wasn't meant to be.
Once I realized things weren't going to work out between Donnie and me, I decided to leave town for awhile and that is how I ended up in a jungle living in a splendid tree house with Tarzan. Things were great until I realized I was afraid of heights, and didn't share Tarzan's love for wild animals. He was committed to swinging and it didn't appeal to me at all, so we ended our relationship and I returned to Alabama. The last time I heard from Tarzan, he was happily married to a chick named Jane.
I traveled quite a bit as a young girl visiting all the usual hot spots, Mayberry, Beverly Hills, and Petticoat Junction to name a few. I stayed in a hut on Gilligan's Island for some time, before being rescued by Little Joe Cartwright. I loved visiting the Ponderosa until the Cartwright brothers began fighting over me and Ben asked me to leave. That was kind of embarassing, but I understood that no one was allowed to come between the Cartwright brothers so I made a graceful exit.
To those of you who think I must have been a little "out there" as a kid, you could not be more wrong. It wasn't until I grew up and lost that magical thing called imagination that my sanity ever came close to being in jeopardy. What fun it would be to sit down to a gourmet meal of saltines and cold RC Cola with Donnie Osmond. We could talk about old times and I could introduce him to my husband....or not. How nice it would be to crawl under granddaddy's tree to visit those lovely places from my childhood when life gets a little too hard. Now that I think about it, maybe I'm overdue for a trip, after all I hear being sane isn't all it's cracked up to be.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
"LOOKING"
Seems like I spent most of my life looking for something. Sounds absurd when I write it down but it's the truth. Some of my earliest memories are of me doing things to get attention. I was always looking for attention. I guess I thought if someone was giving me attention it meant they cared about me. I was easy prey for someone with dishonorable intentions and I suffered for it in the years to come. Things so horrible that I still can't bring myself to share and may never be able to. Anyway ,that's not where I wanted this blog to go today so moving on.....
If I was sick I made it into a life threatening illness. I remember once in my early teens having a cold and passing it off as the flu. I went a few days without eating and living on grape juice and Pepsi even though I was starving. Of course, this illness coincided with my momma having a new boyfriend. She had just gotten rid of a stepfather I couldn't stand and I was afraid she was about to do the same thing all over again. Momma was pretty set in her ways and she was pretty good at seeing through fake bouts of flu. She didn't let my latest scheme get in the way of her life and she continued on with her new relationship. As for me, I guess the steady diet of grape juice and Pepsi worked a miracle because I recovered in time for the Friday night football game.
It took me a long time to realize that you cannot manipulate life or the people in your life. Oh, you can make good choices, get a good education, and live a good moral life that you can be proud of. Those are things you do to go along with whatever fate sends your way. You will never be able to make someone love you if they don't, you can never bring someone back from the dead, and the chances of you hitting the lottery are not much better than those of raising the dead.
I'd like to say that I'm no longer "looking" for something in life but that would be a complete fabrication. I can say I'm content with the loves of my life, my family, and that they love me unconditionally as I do them. I haven't been afflicted with a bad case of "fake flu" or any other attention seeking illness in a long time. I do still have days where I feel like I'm alone, unaccomplished, and sometimes I feel like an absolute failure. Those rare days are the one that motivate me the most to keep looking.
If I was sick I made it into a life threatening illness. I remember once in my early teens having a cold and passing it off as the flu. I went a few days without eating and living on grape juice and Pepsi even though I was starving. Of course, this illness coincided with my momma having a new boyfriend. She had just gotten rid of a stepfather I couldn't stand and I was afraid she was about to do the same thing all over again. Momma was pretty set in her ways and she was pretty good at seeing through fake bouts of flu. She didn't let my latest scheme get in the way of her life and she continued on with her new relationship. As for me, I guess the steady diet of grape juice and Pepsi worked a miracle because I recovered in time for the Friday night football game.
It took me a long time to realize that you cannot manipulate life or the people in your life. Oh, you can make good choices, get a good education, and live a good moral life that you can be proud of. Those are things you do to go along with whatever fate sends your way. You will never be able to make someone love you if they don't, you can never bring someone back from the dead, and the chances of you hitting the lottery are not much better than those of raising the dead.
I'd like to say that I'm no longer "looking" for something in life but that would be a complete fabrication. I can say I'm content with the loves of my life, my family, and that they love me unconditionally as I do them. I haven't been afflicted with a bad case of "fake flu" or any other attention seeking illness in a long time. I do still have days where I feel like I'm alone, unaccomplished, and sometimes I feel like an absolute failure. Those rare days are the one that motivate me the most to keep looking.
Monday, August 8, 2011
"Operation End Soaps"
I am not the least bit embarassed to admit that I have watched a soap opera or two in my time. I have learned so many things from soaps that I've been able to apply to my own life and it is my feeling that soaps are a necessary ingredient in a recipe for a happy life. It is a tragedy that, there is at this very moment, a campaign to bring an end to soap operas. I am not overreacting!! This is a serious problem with the potential to damage many lives in the future.
One of my grandkids once called me a drama queen. So what if I like a little excitement? A crisis is a crisis whether large or small, and there is nothing wrong with a little or a lot of carrying on. Not that I do...carry on, that is.
You can imagine the come apart I had when networks started cancelling soaps that had been on the air for longer than I've been on the earth. It was devastating when "The Guiding Light" was the first show to hit the chopping block. Reba was like a sister to me and I had been in love with Josh most of my adult life. I never could decide if I was happier when they were together or apart. And that Alan Spaulding, just when I decided he had sunk to the lowest low, he would up and do something so nice that I wondered how I could ever doubt him. Oh how I miss the Spauldings, Shanes, Lewises and the rest of the "Guiding Light" gang.
"As the World Turns" stopped turning a short time later, replaced with a talk show. A talk show with female hosts? REALLY? Who watches that kind of stuff? If I want to listen to women talk I just call Rachael or a friend, someone who's opinion actually matters to me. I really place no value on Hollywood's views on clothing, child rearing, marriage, politics, other celebrities, or anything else for that matter. I was much happier trying to figure out solutions for my tv family in Oakdale. I have aquired a fair amount of confidence in my problem solving skills which are still intact thanks to the "Young and Restless" and "The Bold and Beautiful".
I strongly suspect that network execs are sequestered in a fancy room somewhere at this very moment working out a deal to end all soaps and replace them with more asinine game shows and ridiculous talk shows. I think it's a conspiracy to force stay at home moms and dads into the workplace or the marketplace to avoid another boring day at home. It makes perfect sense, working, shopping, stimulating the economy and paying taxes. I wouldn't be suprised to learn that the government has it's hand in "Operation End Soaps". I didn't spend 10 years learning how to be a detective with Tad Martin and Paul Williams for nothing.
One of my grandkids once called me a drama queen. So what if I like a little excitement? A crisis is a crisis whether large or small, and there is nothing wrong with a little or a lot of carrying on. Not that I do...carry on, that is.
You can imagine the come apart I had when networks started cancelling soaps that had been on the air for longer than I've been on the earth. It was devastating when "The Guiding Light" was the first show to hit the chopping block. Reba was like a sister to me and I had been in love with Josh most of my adult life. I never could decide if I was happier when they were together or apart. And that Alan Spaulding, just when I decided he had sunk to the lowest low, he would up and do something so nice that I wondered how I could ever doubt him. Oh how I miss the Spauldings, Shanes, Lewises and the rest of the "Guiding Light" gang.
"As the World Turns" stopped turning a short time later, replaced with a talk show. A talk show with female hosts? REALLY? Who watches that kind of stuff? If I want to listen to women talk I just call Rachael or a friend, someone who's opinion actually matters to me. I really place no value on Hollywood's views on clothing, child rearing, marriage, politics, other celebrities, or anything else for that matter. I was much happier trying to figure out solutions for my tv family in Oakdale. I have aquired a fair amount of confidence in my problem solving skills which are still intact thanks to the "Young and Restless" and "The Bold and Beautiful".
I strongly suspect that network execs are sequestered in a fancy room somewhere at this very moment working out a deal to end all soaps and replace them with more asinine game shows and ridiculous talk shows. I think it's a conspiracy to force stay at home moms and dads into the workplace or the marketplace to avoid another boring day at home. It makes perfect sense, working, shopping, stimulating the economy and paying taxes. I wouldn't be suprised to learn that the government has it's hand in "Operation End Soaps". I didn't spend 10 years learning how to be a detective with Tad Martin and Paul Williams for nothing.
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