Trick or Treat .......or Trick?

I remember a time when a Jack O Lantern was a real pumpkin with a face carved with a kitchen knife and a candle inside to make it glow at night. There were no fake pumpkins with hundreds of faces to choose from and a light bulb with a cord attached to light the dark night, beckoning trick or treaters to stop in and grab a Halloween treat.

Costumes were either a plastic mask with an elastic band that fit around the back of your head to hold it in place or some of your momma's make up and old clothes. We never really cared about the costume we just wanted some candy.

Momma would drive us around the area we lived, stopping only at the homes of people she knew. She would pull in the driveway and we would jump out and yell, "trick or treat, score some candy and occasionally a homemade cookie shaped like a pumpkin. That was the plan and we stuck to it faithfully until the year I strayed from our normal routine by reciting a catchy little rhyme I learned at school.

I can't help but laugh when I think about that Halloween night when momma pulled up to Mrs Opal Springer English's beauty shop which was located right behind her home. We jumped out of the car ran up to Ms Opal's back door... knock, knock, knock. Ms Opal opened the door and before I lost my nerve I belted out," Trick or treat, kiss my feet, give me something good to eat". The look on Ms Opal's face was enough to let me know I had picked the wrong person to try out my new found poetry reciting skills on. She was very clearly not impressed. The only thing left to do was get the candy and run.

And run I did back to momma waiting in the car with the windows rolled down where she had overheard every word of my rousing performance. I could tell from the look on here face and the tightly drawn lips that she was even less impressed with my performance than Ms Opal was. That was our last stop for the evening.

Momma never was much of a disciplinarian but Lord, she was a natural born lecturer. I can recall numerous occassions when I would have preferred a good whipping rather than listen to her go on and on and on and on and well,....... you get the picture.

That particular night, I was treated to an hour long lecture about how embarassed she was by my behavior and was repeatedly asked why I chose to do it at Opal's from the beauty shop because now, everybody was going to know all about it. She would ask why and before I could answer she was back to how embarrassed she was. I don't know where her sense of humour was because I thought it was a riot, despite the lecture and the abrupt end to the trick or treating which knocked a huge dent in the Halloween candy stash.

That was over 40 years ago and I've done my share of trick or treating since that night and never, not once have I told someone that was about to give me candy, "to kiss my feet and give me something good to eat". I learned the hard way that some folks just don't find their humour in the same places I find mine.

I don't worry so much about trick or treating etiquette these days. I just go directly to the source and buy my own candy. Cutting out the middle man leaves out the possibility of embarrassing momma. Well, that and the fact that the last time I tried trick or treating somebody called the police, who refused to believe that the house next door was passing out rolls of toilet paper instead of candy.