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Tuesday, February 1, 2011

The Real Housewives of Lauderdale County

After watching a variety of housewives being real I think it is high time Bravo brought it to my neck of the woods. I have several people in mind to star in the reality based show focusing on housewives in Lauderdale County. The world can get an in depth look at what it takes to be a rural southern woman and a real housewife.


People from all walks of life should know how difficult it is to walk in our house shoes. The camera's can follow us as we cook, clean, grocery shop, go to work,and chauffeur kids here and there. All the while recording a life long struggle with the constant humidity and how it affects our hair. Women outside of Lauderdale county will be appalled to see the steps we Lauderdale gals take to tame the frizzy hair brought on by the humid climate we endure. We don't wear headbands, scarves, hoodies, and caps to be cute. No, we had to find a way to control our hair so we could see to drive.

I definitely have to get my daughter in on this because we must have someone who is beautiful, intelligent and has a passion for shopping. Plus if I get her on the show, I think she might let me borrow one of her Coach purses to throw over my shoulder while I'm parading around in my housecoat and slippers. She will bring some youth and class to the show along with my two adorable granddaughters. She and I might at some point disagree and then we could bring in some family conflict for a couple of episodes before we hug and make up on national television sharing our private moment with the entire audience. Can every one say, "Awwww" while watching us dab at tear stained faces with a soft tissue held in a trembling hand? It's all about the drama and drama requires conflict, tears and finally resolution.

We're going to need an older woman. My Aunt Betty, would be perfect for that role. She can be the hottie over 60 who passes out advice and hugs, while the rest of us fight and back stab. She would be the housewife to run to if another housewife steals your last pink can of Aqua Net or makes a play for your man.

As a former victim of hair spray theft I can testify that it is absolutely devastating and it took me a long time to come to terms with the loss of a perfectly good can of Aqua Net. A support group would have been wonderful. That could be something worth pursuing on the show, a support group for women who are victims of hairspray theft. We could expand the group to support not only those who have been victimized with hair product theft but cosmetics, fragrances, girdles and bras. These types of crimes leave behind shattered lives that are difficult to rebuild without support from a firm foundation. I guess we could also muster up a little support for the housewife whose hubby took up with the twenty something year old waitress from Hooters.

Aunt Betty can cook up some of those delicious recipes we southern girls are famous for. I might come up with a few of my own. We can do lunch, potluck of course. This is Alabama, after all. Aunt Betty is really good at getting people together so she would be great at organizing events for all the housewives to show off their designer sweats and Converse sneakers. The wives could show up with their husbands or boyfriends or both depending on the situation. We'll have a few drinks and get a little rowdy when the sugar high from the sweet tea kicks in and then start slinging some mud.

We're going to need a few more cast members. Let's see so far, we have a classy middle aged woman and a hot young up and coming professional. We've filled the role of the sweet attractive older woman. We need at least 3 more housewives to make a show. I can provide a lot of interesting footage for the Real Housewives of Lauderdale County and will naturally emerge as a fan favorite but I will need to surround myself with other housewives who lead interesting lives.

If you live in Lauderdale County and are interested in appearing on the show please comment or email me and we'll see where it goes. Life here in Lauderdale County can be just as glamorous and dramatic as Beverly Hills if we give it our best shot. How about it ladies? Who's in?

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