The Tree

I can still remember how it felt to climb the tree in granddaddy's yard. I was afraid to climb too high but I managed to grab hold of the lowest branch with both hands and march upwards on the tree trunk until I was able to pull myself into a sitting position on the branch. Sometimes if I was feeling particularly brave, I would go one branch higher to reach the best seat in the yard. It was a great place to spy on family, think about problems, or my favorite thing....pretend to be somebody else going somewhere else.


Granddaddy, my Uncle Frank and my Uncle Sonny were well known auto mechanics in the Centerhill area. All kinds of people with sick cars, trucks, an occasional tractor often showed up at granddaddy's. Either he or one of the uncles would work their magic and get them back on the road. People came and went and I watched while perched on a branch in a tree in granddaddy's yard.


I began my lifelong career as a drama queen right smack dab in the middle of a tree. It was my thinking place. I would think about whatever problem I was struggling with whether it was a bad grade, issues with friends from school or something more serious like a kitchen that was completely out of RC Cola's. I would reflect on days past, play different scenario's out in my head and think of snappy comebacks that I couldn't think of earlier in the day ( then I prayed for another opportunity to use them). I worried about things from minor to major. Everything was a groundbreaking, life changing, earth shaking, woe is me kind of big deal! I spent a lot of time thinking, and thinking, and thinking some more while sitting on that tree branch in the tree in granddaddy's yard.


Sometimes I would climb up, sit on the branch, lean back into the solid trunk of the tree and let my mind go where my body would never go. I was a dancer, a singer, an actress, a lawyer, a princess. I flew on airplanes, was filthy rich, ate at fancy restaurants, took vacations, had my own apartment all while sitting on a tree branch in granddaddy's yard!


 I still love people watching. I still over-think things and worry (yes! I know it's sinful but I was born that way! SERIOUSLY!). I have reigned in my imagination. It's been at least a month since I pretended to be a princess and these days I am pretty happy being at home. But, I would love to climb that tree one more time, lean back, look out over the property where I grew up and see my granddaddy one more time.

"FB" Spread the Love

Isn't facebook great? It's a place to reconnect with friends from childhood and  keep up with cousins who live out of state or right down the road, lol. I love knowing when someone needs a prayer or when someone has been blessed in a special way (babies, babies and more babies)! I enjoy looking at the pictures of the children of family and friends. I love hearing that someone is in remission from a deadly disease or that a friend who has been ill is on the mend. I grieve when I read of a friend's loss whether it be a parent or other family member. The naughty side of me will admit that I enjoy seeing pictures of former classmates and knowing that they have aged right along with me!

I even like the little sayings and  funny e-cards my friends post. I read one this morning that I really liked. I can't quote it verbatim but it said something along the lines of what a wonderful world it would be if we all spread love as easily as we spread hate. Those words got me to thinking and wondering why anyone would want to spread hate. I have posted a couple of times complaining about a bad shopping trip or maybe a not so great dining out experience. Looking back, I'm not sure it was a good idea to come home while angry or upset and post a negative review. We all have off days and I'm not talking about a day where you don't work. I'm talking about a day when things just go wrong and having another person tell everyone on fb probably just makes it worse. I wouldn't exactly call that kind of post "spreading hate" but I'm sure the businesses I posted about weren't exactly feeling the love.

People use fb for a lot of different reasons. There are the friends that promote their business, brag about their success, the proud parents (guilty), the proud grandparents (guiltier), the sports fanatic (RT), the puppy momma, the look-where-I'm-vacationing (never me), the spreading-the-gospel (a good thing if you live what you preach), the creeper, the happy all-the-time person, the I'm-deeply- depressed person, the minute-by-minute details of my life friend, the do-gooder who wants everyone to know every good thing they do (these people always inspire me to keep my good deeds to myself), the political people ( I usually stay away from those exchanges.... refer to my previous post comparing congress to McDonald's), the soapbox people (yep, me). I don't think you truly know someone until you're friends on fb.

There's another kind of person on fb, the harasser.  It's usually teens or immature young adults who indulge in this behavior but occasionally an older adult will show their true colors. I have an opinion, believe it or not! I think that grown up people should not get on fb and act like members of congress. Stop it with the hate spreading, bad mouthing and the meanness before you make a libelous statement about someone that could land you in a courtroom. Too bad fb doesn't have a momma for all of it's users. Every time a fb user posted something out of line, fb momma would knock on the front door of the offender and lay a green switch across their bottom. Since fb momma and her green switch are a little unrealistic, I have another solution to rid fb of the haters club. You wanna hear it? Unfriend them, don't give them a voice. Shut the haters up and spread the love!

The Free Ketchup Debate

 I am so tired of hearing about the government shutdown. Grown men and women who have the responsibility of overseeing the running of our great nation are acting like toddlers fighting over who gets the next lick on the giant lollipop. I don't understand a lot of what happens in politics. I think politicians work really hard to make sure the average American either doesn't fully understand, or has a complete misunderstanding of what is going on behind the scenes in this beautiful country they all seem bent on destroying.

I wonder what would happen if every employee at McDonald's each chose a fellow employee to form a committee to represent all the burger flippers, french fry fryers and order takers. Then they elected one person as the "Big Burger Guy". Big Burger guy and the burger flipper reps wanted to pass out extra  ketchup but the french fry fryer reps are opposed. They argue and decide the only solution is to close every single McDonald's restaurant. What do you suppose would happen to those representatives? I am pretty simple minded, but I would imagine they would be fired before they could say, "Can I take your order?".

Too bad there is not such a simple solution for America.  Our country is in the hands of people who have forgotten what it feels like to show loyalty to those of us who gave them a voice. America has big problems! I think of all those who died and sacrificed to make this country great and I weep, We have placed our well being in the hands of those whose main concern is their own well being. We should all be concerned for America's best interest. Is there hope for a successful union in Washington? I am far too ignorant to answer that, but I do think that even though America is a pretty old gal....... too old to start over, she is certainly young enough to keep going. We just need some new burger flippers,  french fry fryers, order takers and of course a new "Big Burger Guy" (or gal)! God bless America and those who serve her with a true and loyal heart!

Normal Laughter

Facebook friends often comment about how funny my posts are on the social media site. I an guilty of loving a good laugh, but there is another side to me that I  do not share with everyone. There is a reason for the jokes and the laughter. There are things that I want out of life, some of them silly and some the kind of things everyone wants, but most of all I just want to be normal and secure. Unfortunately, those are the two things that have always been out of reach for me, so laughter has become my way to cope with my failure to obtain those two things.

As a child, I wanted to be like the other  kids with a mommy and daddy. My mom would be active in PTA and daddy would go to work. We would all gather around the dinner table each night and talk about our day. That certainly did not work out for me! Daddy was dead, momma had her hands full trying to take care of my brothers and me. Fortunately for me, I had books and imagination to fill the void and meet my needs. I think those two things are what helped me cope when I was molested. I simply pretended it wasn't happening. It wasn't until many years later, as an adult that I admitted the horrible things occurred during my childhood. To this day, I rarely mention the molestation. I do not want to speak of it, I prefer to pretend it did not happen. My chance to be normal was stolen early in life.

The person who did this unspeakable thing to me left my life before my teen years, and as I mentioned earlier, I pretended it did not happen. I carried on desperately wanting to be like my friends and their families. By this time, I had such a distorted view of what normal was supposed to be!  I realized just how far away it was from where I was and that was when I began taking shortcuts to get to "normal". Pretend you are going on a road trip with a definite destination in mind. Along the way you  tire of traveling so you stop somewhere and  convince yourself you have reached your destination. Finally, you are there!!  Then imagine the despair you feel when you realize you have gone in the wrong direction and are miles from your intended destination. It's hard to pack up your car and hit the road! It's the same way trying to get to normal, I think I'm there and then, BAM! I realize "normal" just up and moved right before I got there.

I have traveled down more wrong roads than I care to remember. I've been beaten down, lifted up. confused, abused, happy, sad and a hundred different other things, but I have never been the one thing that I have always longed for, "normal".  I am declaring war on "normal". If you exist, stop hiding. Come out and fight like a woman!! I am giving up the search, if you want me you know where I am. I'll be the chick laughing in your face.

Skip the Wings and Halo, Pass the Broom and Dust Rag

They say angels have wings and a halo, but I'm here to tell you that I know that is not always the case. Yep, it's true. For the past twenty two years, I have been keeping company with a real live angel. Hear me out before you decide I'm off on another make believe story.... this time it's the truth, I promise.

My angel passed on the wing thing and opted instead for a nice practical broom, which she frequently used inside the house and outside in the front yard. Yes, my angel swept outside. I'm still not making this up. I would never tell a story like this without proof. Other people have witnessed her happily sweeping ninety to nothing, back and forth until the yard was clean, just in case unexpected company show up. Good thing she passed on the wings, they would not have been practical when paired with a broom. Certain things such as wings and brooms just don't mesh.

The halo was  a no-go for her, as well. You  might have guessed it, she chose a dust rag instead. It's truly a good thing I met my angel, otherwise I would have never known that tables were supposed to be dusted underneath and up and down the legs not just on top which is where people generally looked. It is important to clean things that others may not see....I learned that from Betty Laverne Tate.

Laverne left us yesterday. I have spent some time today thinking about the way she lived her life and I realized it was much the way she cleaned her home. She took care of things on the inside as well as the outside. Her outward appearance was very important to her, during her last days when she could barely get around, she insisted on having her hair rolled. She was always neat, clean and ready to greet everyone with a smile. I wish I could find the words to describe that smile, it was a kind of sneaky, almost as if she knew something that no one else did and it had the power to transform a bad day into a good day. It's a given that the inside of Laverne was much like the tables that she dusted over and over, pure and clean with nothing to hide.

I will never be the housekeeper that Laverne was. Most of the time I hide clutter behind closet doors where visitors cannot see, I never sweep my yard and I hope no one ever looks underneath my tables because it would disturb the thriving dust mite community who resides there. I'm gonna get around to cleaning all that one of these days.  The way I live my life could use a good cleaning, too. Thankfully, having had Laverne as a mother-in-law all of these years, has left me with considerable knowledge when it comes to cleaning . I have decided to work toward getting my very own broom and dust rag, especially now that Laverne is looking down from Heaven with a birds eye view of my mess. I want her to be as proud to have had me as a daughter-in- law as I was to have had her as a mother-in-law. Y'all go on now, I'm gonna be just fine.

Lunch with Gwen

I may have mentioned before that Grandmother Holden never learned to drive. She worked a full time job at what we referred to as the knitting mill-a.k.a. Genesco-in Florence, a long way from Center Hill, especially for someone who didn't drive. She got up early in the mornings and walked downhill to the edge of the driveway to catch a bus to work. I don't think she ever considered driving as something she needed to know how to do.

Grandmother did not consider her inability to drive a handicap at all and for someone who didn't drive, she sure got around. She always went to work, she never missed church, and her Saturday trips to town were almost as sacred to her as going to church. She relied on Momma and Aunt Betty for transportation to places like Kent's Dollar Store, TG&Y, or Kmart.

 A trip to town usually meant lunch out and that was my favorite part of the Saturday outings. My love for shopping was topped only by my love for food. It was a real treat to have a burger and fries instead of the usual beans, potatoes, garden grown vegetables, and cornbread. It was during one of these outings that we decided to have lunch at McDonald's.

Aunt Betty was the chauffeur that sunny Saturday, but I had somehow convinced Grandmother to take me with them even though Momma stayed at home. Grandmother was a reasonable woman and understood the value of my opinions as she shopped for whatever she happened to need, so she was happy to invite me to join her. Yes, that is exactly how it happened. There were no tears, screaming and begging.

We pulled into McDonald's and immediately the other grandkids and I began discussing what we would order. Hamburger or cheeseburger, fries of course, and an icy cold Coca-Cola.  We had all made our decision, when a tiny voice from the backseat declared, "I'm not very hungry today. I'll just have a cheeseburger, fries, apple pie, milkshake and a coke". A rather large order coming from someone who couldn't even reach the counter at McDonald's. That was a proud moment for me, as her older cousin, because I knew she had been watching and learning the ropes from the very best, ME! It was a valiant but amateur attempt on her part to get some of everything on the then-skimpy McDonald's menu, but unfortunately it didn't work for her. Hahaha, she should have bypassed her momma and went straight to Grandmother.

Now, you may be wondering just where this is going or if there is anything of value to be gained from reading this post. My response would be: only if you haven't yet realised the value of female persuasion. If you can't drive and don't want to....get someone to drive you where you want to go. If you want to go to town with grandmother, tears work wonders. And finally, if you are the youngest cousin in the car and you want that apple pie and milkshake, take notes from the older and wiser cousin, who is happily chowing down on a burger and looking forward to a shopping trip when she could have been sitting at home.

Try My Shoes

One of the easiest things in the world to do is to talk about what other people do, or have done wrong in their lives. We all do it, some of us do it more often and get more enjoyment from it. I consider myself a little bit of an expert on this subject, since I've been on both sides of the fence, so to speak. I've been quick to judge and I've been judged. It's a tiresome job speculating about, editing, and spreading gossip. The only thing worse than spreading gossip, is being the subject of the latest "opinion", "I love her but.....", "I can't believe he", "Did you hear about"..."She said that he said"... "She's my best friend but"....."You mean you didn't know"......"Everybody knows"...."She should be ashamed". 


 A few years ago I called my Uncle Bobby to ask his advice about a question I had regarding marriage and divorce. My husband and I had both led sinful lives and we were both divorced prior to our marriage. We made the decision to be restored to the church that both of us had grown up in. The church welcomed us, but we weren't asked to, or allowed to participate in church matters (other than attending) because of our prior divorces. I called my Uncle Bobby hoping for some scriptures to help me understand the status of my salvation. He gave me the scriptures to help me understand that both my husband's divorce and my divorce were scriptural. I mentioned to him that I was concerned about what the elders thought about our marriage and he offered these words to me, "They can't say what they would do, because they've never walked in your shoes".


It's so easy to look at people and think the worst, especially if someone is grumpy or hateful. We can't all be cheerful and happy all the time. If I'm caught in the aftermath of a migraine or going through some crisis with my family, I could be a nominee for "grouch of the year". If I think someone has mistreated one of my kids, we can up that nomination to "psycho mom of the year" , but that's a different story. The point I'm trying to make is, we should all zip our lips unless we've been walking around in each other's shoes. Thank's Uncle Bobby, for the simple solution to a massive problem.