I'm about to share something that I've never told anyone. I have this special thing. I call it my box. It has 4 walls that are the same height as me, they have grown with me though the years. It fits directly over me with a ceiling just above my head. The walls are clear like glass but not made of glass. They don't shatter and they don't break. When I'm in my box nothing can penetrate it's walls to harm me.
I discovered the box when I was very young. Something terrible happened that I hated and that I didn't understand, that was when the box first came. It covered my entire body, a perfect fit, as if it was custom made just for me. The box came a lot during that period of my life. Then the terible thing went away and the box didn't come as often. I guess I didn't need for it to be there as much.
When I am in the box pain can't come in or at least it can only come in a little at a time. Only in manageable amounts would be an accurate discription. If you saw me while I was in the box you would never know it. It's not something others can see or feel. It's only concern is me.
I would best describe being in the box as being aware, yet being closed off from whatever is happening. For instance, pretend like someone is throwing rocks at you and you want them to stop but you don't know how to make that happen. The box can't stop the rock throwing but it can stop the pain that the rocks inflict as they hit you body.
The box also helps in other ways. Again, pretend you're having serious problems with a spouse, family members or someone very close to you. Nothing you say or do is right and you have reached the end of the rope. The box comes. It will surround you and close you off to whatever hurtful thing is going on. Honestly I don't know how I would have made it in life if not for the box.
This is where everyone is shaking their head or rolling their eyes, thinking this chick has completely lost her mind. NOT TRUE! It is because of the box that my mind is just fine. I think it is something God blessed me with and I'm also thinking if I have it someone else does, too.
Sandra, I love this. But guess what....I had a box too and just like you said it was made to fit perfect. It was like a force field and it appears from time to time. Today it is a lot bigger than it use to be.
ReplyDeleteAnother thing that comes with the box (or atleast it comes with my option) is gravity. Whenever things are worrisome, troubling or scary, I start to pull back. It isn't something I do on purpose or even knowingly. It just happens - like a mystical force pulling me back from something I don't like that is going on.