Sugar Rocks, Bottle Caps and So Much More

I write a lot about my Grandmother Holden so it's pretty obvious how much I adored her. She was everything a grandmother should be and more. My Mawmaw Cox, on the other hand was not. As a child I just accepted that she wasn't too crazy about us grandkids. I never questioned it or worried about her lack of enthusiasm when we visited. I just assumed she was lazy and didn't like us. I tolerated her because she was married to my pawpaw.

My brother, Timmy and I often spent the night at mawmaw and pawpaw's little house on the edge of Lexington. Pawpaw was the one who cared for us during those visits. He prepared our meals, made sure we bathed but most importantly, he entertained us. He played endless hours of checkers with us on a worn out checker board with bottle caps for checkers, instead of the usual red and black checkers we had bottle caps facing up and down. We spent a fair amount of time on the front porch swinging in the porch swing while pawpaw watched from an old ladder back chair. We dug sugar rocks from the rocky driveway that led to mawmaw and pawpaw's house and raced back to share our treasures with pawpaw. He would inspect them and declare each rock more valuable than the one before. After a long day of playing it was pawpaw who put us to bed in the same room he slept in. Mawmaw had her own room and her own bed that she was in every day before darkness fell. I always thought she sure needed a lot of sleep for someone who did absolutely nothing.

Pawpaw had an endless supply of Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls in the freezer, a cookie jar filled with no bake chocolate oatmeal cookies, and plenty of cokes in returnable bottles that he was eager to share with us. In the mornings he would fry eggs over medium and serve them to us with some of mawmaw's frozen biscuits. I loved the eggs but the biscuits.....not so much. Occasionally mawmaw would get up out of her chair and join us for our meals but sadly, those occassions were few and far between. She rarely got out of her chair for anyone other than herself. She would just sit and stare all day long.

Looking back I can see mawmaw suffered from depression. Maybe with today's treatment she would have had a more fulfilling life. The only kind of treatment she had that I am aware of was the ceramic class she took as some sort of therapy. I'm not a doctor but I think the only purpose it served was to fill mawmaw's walls with hideous ceramic fruit and other ridiculous looking plaques. I don't know for sure why she was the way she was but I do know that while she sat alone in her chair pawpaw was busy doing double duty. He was everything a pawpaw should be and more.

Scholarship to the University of Happiness

If you have a child in school you have probably given some thought to how you will pay for college when the time comes. This past week my son and I attended scholarship night for juniors at Brooks High School. The guidance counselor presented us with a booklet of information and a presentation detailing the ins and outs of obtaining a scholarship for the brilliant kids at BHS.

I was so pleased that the counselor took time to meet with parents and students and we did gain a valuable amount of information. I was not pleased to realize that my son is behind on information gathering necessary to be awarded a scholarship. It seems it is a good idea to begin compiling a resume in the 9th grade detailing leadership, community service, clubs, church activities, athletic participation and whatever else the student may have involved in during his/her high school years. I feel a panic attack coming on as I imagine what my sons resume might look like.

Hi, my name is Patrick Tate. My friends call me P Tate. I will be entering my senior year at BHS and would love to have a scholarship near my home because my mom still does my laundry and serves as my personal secretary. P.S. please contact her if you need to set up an interview as she schedules all my appointments.
Personal objective or work experience: Worked summers in the family business, Louise's Flowers. I really don't know what I want to do with my life but I do know it does not involve flowers or working with my mom and grandmother. For crying out loud, I'm only 17!!! Do I have to decide now?
Education: Brooks Elementary grades k-6 and Brooks High School grades 7-present.

Hobbies and interest: I play piano because my personal secretary aka my mom makes me. I also play bass guitar but what I really excel at is video games and hanging with my friends.

I assume anyone reading this (especially parents of juniors) understands my dilemma. What I don't understand is why we have to pressure our kids to do things for the wrong reasons. I think it is wonderful to volunteer to help others. There is nothing that compares to the wonderful warm feeling you get when you know you've done something really good for someone in need. I don't understand why we have to tell everyone what we've done.

I also think it's great to acknowledge a students achievements with awards during their time in high school especially if it stems from academic excellence or other personal achievements. Awards given because a couple of teachers get together and decide to pass out awards to each others children and their friends are ridiculously transparent to those who know the truth and while they may look good on paper will do little to help a student in the real world.

As parents we were presented with a question at the scholarship meeting, "What do you want you're kids to do?" My answer was not the same as our counselors who said, "You want them to work". Mine was "I want my son to be happy". It's pretty obvious that most of us must work to support ourselves as we go through life, I just don't see why work can't be something we love doing.

I admit I was poking fun at my youngest son with the resume thing. Truthfully, he is a great student and I expect him to do well at whatever he chooses. He has had his fair share of accomplishments and I am certain he will be able to pull off a resume that will be impressive as will all of the other students at BHS who desire to do so. I just hope when listing things they hope to accomplish in life that at the top of the list is the word "HAPPINESS".

Gimme a Spring Break

Spring break was last week for the children in our family. They all enjoyed a week free from classwork, homework and alarm clocks ringing early in the morning. How lovely it would be to be carefree once again! Those days seem so far away from where I am now.....a chronic worry wart. Give me a molehill and I will make a mountain.

My worrying has evolved over the years. There was a time when I worried about my own health. Every ache, pain, rash, headache or other ailment had me running to the the doctor and later even worse, Web M.D., which by the way should block amateur self diagnosers such as myself. I can't tell you how many diseases I've diagnosed myself with thanks to the symptom checker. A few years ago I began having strange vision interruptions that sometimes included blind spots or weird waves and on some occasions I would lose periphial vision. I was convinced I had a terrible terminal illness.

I began thinking about my funeral and worried because there weren't any decent pictures of me to display at the funeral home. What funeral home should I use? What if no one came to the funeral? Where on earth would they find anyone who could do anything with this frizzy head of hair? Did I have to have gospel music or could I get a little Lynyrd Synyrd or Fleetwood Mac? I spent more time worrying about the big send off than I did worrying about the terrible terminal disease that turned out to be migraines. Yep, that's how I roll.

I still worry about me from time to time but most of my worry is for my kids and grandkids. I worry about the decline in morals and the rising national debt that they will inherit. I worry about how they will afford to go to college. I worry about their physical health and their mental health. It's a stressful world now...what will it be in years to come?

As I write this blog I have had an epiphany, I am the one in need of a spring break. Yes, that's exactly what I need. A week away from work related stress and the hectic early mornings. A week away from days filled with multiple loads of laundry and dirty dishes. A week just for me filled with Butterfingers, Reese's Cups and Diet Dr Pepper's. Throw in a few trashy romance novels and it's a done deal.

Now that I think about it, a spring break may not be the best idea. I would probably spend the entire week worrying about being buried alive under the growing pile of dirty laundry or the weight gain fom all the chocolate. Spring break is for the kiddos! They've got better things to do than worry.

Old Photo's, Good Times and Laughter

The good looking guy in the photograph is my dad. He went to war and didn't come back. The things I know about him come from other people not from firsthand experience and that just blows. A daughter should not have to rely on distant memories from her father's childhood friends just to know her father. Thanks a lot, Vietnam. You can KMA!

I'm told he had a "different" sense of humour.....me, too. It is so hard to find people who share this kind of humour. I am fortunate to have two people in my life who get me, my daughter and my friend, Deb. I hope daddy had someone who got him. I can't imagine not having Rachael or Deb to laugh with over something totally inappropriate. Laughing is like eating for me, I can do it almost anytime and I'll bet daddy could, too.


One of his friends told me that daddy enjoyed a good time, a little too much (if you know what I mean). Any of my friends from days gone by would tell you the same thing about me. There was a time in my life when I didn't understand why anyone wouldn't want to party (if you know what I mean).....now I don't understand why anyone would want to. Thankfully, I outgrew all of that and I imagine that daddy would have, too.

I've also been told he was a bit of a ladies man. I'm not into girls, being one myself, but I can honestly say that a boyfriend (or husband) like mascara, is something I have not been without since I was 14 years old. I hope daddy had better luck with the opposite sex than I did as a young woman.

Just as I wanted to know how daddy lived, I wanted to know how he died. Mortally wounded in combat, as listed on the certificate of death just didn't cut it for me. I started asking questions. I was excited to learn there were a few books written with detailed accounts of the battle that took my daddy. One of them was made into a movie, "We Were Soldiers Once...And Young".

Daddy died in the Ia Drang Valley in Vietnam. I hope he died the minute the bullet hit him. The thought of him or any other young man lying on foreign soil slowly bleeding to death is too sad to think about. It's hard to make sense of it all so I don't even try. I just look at old photos and think of a smiling young man who liked to laugh while having a good time with the young ladies.

The Search for Sunday

Has anyone seen Sunday? I ain't seen a proper Sunday in so long that I am seriously considering filing a missing day report.

I was thinking about the happy Sunday's from my childhood and I can't remember anyone rushing off for a Sunday afternoon shopping trip as soon as the last AMEN was said. In fact it was just the opposite, we couldn't have shopped if we wanted to....stores were closed on Sundays. Nope, we didn't shop on Sundays. We visited with family or took naps after church.

To the best of my knowledge, nobody in the family worked on Sunday's either. Sunday was a day when things came to a temporary halt. Kinda like Christmas day is now but without the quik marts open on every corner. People didn't work because there weren't many jobs needing to be done that couldn't wait until Monday.

We didn't go to restaurants for a Sunday lunch. We ate at Grandmother and Granddaddy Holden's house with the rest of the family. If there was ever a time that grandmother decided to load everybody up and head to a restaurant instead of cooking Sunday lunch....I surely do not remember it. The women cooked, the men talked and the kids played and we all ate lunch together.

I've been trying to figure out how it happened. Sunday didn't just up and disappear all of a sudden. Had that been the case, I feel certain that an immediate search would have been launched resulting in Sunday being returned to it's rightful position asap. No, that's not how it happened. Sunday's disapearance was so gradual that folks just failed to take notice.

I guess how it happened isn't really that important. The concern now is whether or not Sunday will ever be found. I hope you will join me in the search for Sunday and if you happen to find him before I do, please let him know I miss him....... almost as much as I miss grandmother and granddaddy.

Play That Pomp and Circumstance

I need to take a break from writing about my family and the silly things that pop into my head and appear on this blog to write about something that is very important to me, children and education.


I think my desire to see kids be all that they can be, comes from getting older and realizing that I will never be what I could have been. There is one very simple reason for that and it is the lack of a good education. The opportunities were there I just lacked the motivation. I know motivation comes from within but nothing fuels motivation more than encouragement or incentive. Those are also two things that were missing in my early years.


I'm a firm believer that every child is gifted with a specific talent from birth. The trick is determining what that talent is, nurturing it and watching it flourish. Too bad our kids aren't born with labels, "future accountant or scientist in the making". Can you imagine the proud momma standing outside the nursery window, peering at her baby exclaiming, "See, that one, TOMORROW'S CELEBRITY, she's mine! How easy it would be to offer up a little encouragement if we knew the outcome would produce a superstar, a doctor or a famous writer. Guess what? It can. Encouragement and sincere praise are high grade fuel for motivating a child. Fill their think tanks with a generous dose of each one and watch them go, go, go!


I know a lot of people would disagree with me on this one but, I see nothing wrong with offering a little incentive in the form of a special treat or small amounts of cash to encourage good grades or extra effort on projects. It's just my opinion but I think it's good for kids to realize early in life that hard work has a pay day. They will realize the value of brain power and momma gets bragging rights when report cards are sent home.



It's going to be difficult to encourage your child if you don't know what's going on behind those classroom doors. I ask three questions almost everyday. "How was your day?". "Did anything happen I need to know about?" "Did you get back any test grades I should know about? (for us that's anything below an 85)".


I'm proud to admit I'm one of "those moms" that some at school complain about. My son is 17 and I don't hesitate to call the school if I have a concern. Yep, he should be more responsible but sadly, he's not there yet. He's still a work in progress. I don't let opinions of teachers or principals hinder me as I parent my child the best way I know how and neither should you. I'm a momma with a mission. I won't rest until my kids and yours are marching to the beat of "Pomp and Circumstance" and on their way to accept their degree.

The Real Housewives of Lauderdale County

After watching a variety of housewives being real I think it is high time Bravo brought it to my neck of the woods. I have several people in mind to star in the reality based show focusing on housewives in Lauderdale County. The world can get an in depth look at what it takes to be a rural southern woman and a real housewife.


People from all walks of life should know how difficult it is to walk in our house shoes. The camera's can follow us as we cook, clean, grocery shop, go to work,and chauffeur kids here and there. All the while recording a life long struggle with the constant humidity and how it affects our hair. Women outside of Lauderdale county will be appalled to see the steps we Lauderdale gals take to tame the frizzy hair brought on by the humid climate we endure. We don't wear headbands, scarves, hoodies, and caps to be cute. No, we had to find a way to control our hair so we could see to drive.

I definitely have to get my daughter in on this because we must have someone who is beautiful, intelligent and has a passion for shopping. Plus if I get her on the show, I think she might let me borrow one of her Coach purses to throw over my shoulder while I'm parading around in my housecoat and slippers. She will bring some youth and class to the show along with my two adorable granddaughters. She and I might at some point disagree and then we could bring in some family conflict for a couple of episodes before we hug and make up on national television sharing our private moment with the entire audience. Can every one say, "Awwww" while watching us dab at tear stained faces with a soft tissue held in a trembling hand? It's all about the drama and drama requires conflict, tears and finally resolution.

We're going to need an older woman. My Aunt Betty, would be perfect for that role. She can be the hottie over 60 who passes out advice and hugs, while the rest of us fight and back stab. She would be the housewife to run to if another housewife steals your last pink can of Aqua Net or makes a play for your man.

As a former victim of hair spray theft I can testify that it is absolutely devastating and it took me a long time to come to terms with the loss of a perfectly good can of Aqua Net. A support group would have been wonderful. That could be something worth pursuing on the show, a support group for women who are victims of hairspray theft. We could expand the group to support not only those who have been victimized with hair product theft but cosmetics, fragrances, girdles and bras. These types of crimes leave behind shattered lives that are difficult to rebuild without support from a firm foundation. I guess we could also muster up a little support for the housewife whose hubby took up with the twenty something year old waitress from Hooters.

Aunt Betty can cook up some of those delicious recipes we southern girls are famous for. I might come up with a few of my own. We can do lunch, potluck of course. This is Alabama, after all. Aunt Betty is really good at getting people together so she would be great at organizing events for all the housewives to show off their designer sweats and Converse sneakers. The wives could show up with their husbands or boyfriends or both depending on the situation. We'll have a few drinks and get a little rowdy when the sugar high from the sweet tea kicks in and then start slinging some mud.

We're going to need a few more cast members. Let's see so far, we have a classy middle aged woman and a hot young up and coming professional. We've filled the role of the sweet attractive older woman. We need at least 3 more housewives to make a show. I can provide a lot of interesting footage for the Real Housewives of Lauderdale County and will naturally emerge as a fan favorite but I will need to surround myself with other housewives who lead interesting lives.

If you live in Lauderdale County and are interested in appearing on the show please comment or email me and we'll see where it goes. Life here in Lauderdale County can be just as glamorous and dramatic as Beverly Hills if we give it our best shot. How about it ladies? Who's in?